11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
You would be lying to yourself if you said you have not heard this verse thousands of times in church, from Christ followers or you have came across this verse yourself.
I heard this verse again last night while I was at church and this time it hit me a bit differently. I have been following a routine schedule. I am sure we all have. Work, school or a place that we are constantly attending. Last night just made me feel as if my priorities were in the wrong direction.
I am in a new relationship and sometimes it just feels like a dream. He is an absolute incredible guy all-around. Before service, we have a little gathering with all the volunteers. There is worship and after worship someone goes up on stage and speaks to us and encourages us to go out and be the hands and feet of Jesus. Yesterday, my man was that person (proud girlfriend moment).
As he was speaking, I was so unexplainably proud of him. It was his first time stepping up on stage and pouring his heart out (he was a natural). I just saw something in him yesterday that made me so proud, he was going after what God has planned for him. He is getting more involved in ministry and it’s so incredible to see all the works God is doing in his life from the sidelines.
After my “proud girlfriend moment”, I started to think about me. Watching someone go after what they are called to do was incredible to see. I felt as if I have not felt God’s plan for my life and made me feel as I have no idea what God has called me for. During service, guilt and shame rose in me and I felt empty. I felt as if my life was at a pause.
After service, I had an amazing dinner with my boyfriend. I wanted to celebrate this milestone with him. But, I just could not keep in my feelings how I felt during service. I expressed to him my feeling and shared some thoughts about the service with him. It was hard for me to express myself because he just had an incredible night and I did not want to ruin the evening talking about me.
God hit me in the back of the head last night… several times. God used my boyfriend to motivated me to see the potential I have in myself. I was letting the enemy distract me. I was letting the enemy trick me in thinking God does not have a plan for my life. One thing that stood out to me the most was when my boyfriend said, “you can not compare your chapter 2 to someone’s chapter 22.”
My top #1 prayer for the past 4 years has been about my purpose in life, what is God calling me to do? During those 4 years, I have seen people in my life do incredible things:
My sister moved to California to pursue her dream.
My best friend moved to UCF to finish school, she has 2 more semesters!
My brother moved to California to pursue his dream.
My sister is in nursing school.
My brother is becoming an awesome youth pastor.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am not in control of my life and to stop thing that God has not done something already in my life. I know He has, I have seen it. My mind gets too ahead of itself, thinking I am not where everyone else is in life. I am where God wants me to be. Even if where I am is still figuring things out, I am okay with that. I know God has plans for me. Maybe I do not see it now but I have to trust in His timing when it comes to my life.
The reason why I said earlier “my priorities were in the wrong direction.” I am so involved in following the routine that I am getting distracted. I am not allowing the person that gave me the routine any credit. I prayed for what I have now and God blessed me with it. Sometimes we have to look at our routine and remember we once prayed for that job. We once prayed that we could afford school or get into the school we’ve been dying to go to. God gave us those opportunities, when did we stop thanking Him for what He graciously gave us.
Maybe you are like me, you thought you knew what God has planned for you. A month later, a year later, 4 years later… the plan you thought was God’s plan just changed course. Now you are back at square 1. The plan you thought was 100% your plan, turns out was not. God might of been saving you from something. Ever thought about it like that? Jeremiah 29:11 “plans to prosper you and not harm you.”
Have you ever been through a really bad breakup and it feels like it is the end of the world but a few months later you realize that God took you out of that relationship for a reason. It’s kind of the same thing!
The plan God has for us is far beyond what we are imagining. Trust that God’s plan for you is in progress. I know and trust that God’s plan for me is slowly but surely coming. Remain faithful to God during this time, He is building us up right now and we do not even know it.