More time has passed and each week since the last I have told myself I was going to write. Yet, I have not been on my blog since December. A lot has changed since then. I was talking with a friend of mine about my passion for writing but I felt like I put too much pressure on the actual writing part. Probably 5 people even read my post, give or take.
Back in 2018, I would just write to write. It felt like a personal diary and frankly, I really enjoyed it. Some posts were deeper than others but they were my life and my experiences. I think moving forward, (for those who care LOL) I am going to go back to that style of writing.
It made me feel free and I LOVED the feeling of hitting publish even if it only received 5 views or zero views.
So life updates:
I wish I could write something cheerful and say life has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows but I would be lying. Life has been hard.
I have been struggling in my season of singleness. Not because of the feeling of being alone but because there has not even been a desire for me to be loved by someone else. I think my fair share of getting hurt time and time again has flat out taken a toll on me. I guess I would say, I am tired of being down looked and feeling as if the person I see valuable is not to someone else. With that being said, I am letting life take its course and when there will be an opportunity, I pray God just removes any feeling of unwantedness and not feeling good enough for a relationship away.
Another thing that has been hard, is my business. I do not even know where to begin with this one. Having a business is A LOT. Looking back on the past year and a half, being a business owner is not for everyone. I have gained so much tough skin because of building a brand out of nothing. You take criticism with patience and failure with perseverance. There have been days when I flat-out wanted to give up everything. No one sees the amount of effort and tears you throw into your business. But, if it was not for having a business, I would not be the go-getter I am today.
The beauty of my struggles: I have relied on Jesus every step of the way.
If you are in a similar season, the famous "waiting season." I can assure you each passing day has a successful lesson to learn from. Back in February, I had to let go of a person that was no longer serving a purpose in my life. As difficult as it was for me to let go of that relationship... I needed to discover my worth.
Without worth, you are just living. Knowing your worth gives you purpose to live.
*** Never forget how valuable you are!
It takes time to heal. It takes time to forgive. It takes time to move on.
Just don't stay in that season. Just as flowers bloom because winter is gone, do not stay in winter. Grow into the person you were created to be. Nurture yourself.
Not sure what direction this blog post went but hey, that's my life!